Bipolar Mommy

I read something the other day that really upset me. Before I say anything else, I respect the decision of this person (who will remain anonymous) as everyone has a right to choose how to live their life. What bothered me is their reasoning. It was a post someone wrote about her decision to not have kids based on the fact that she has bipolar disorder. She feels that, because of bipolar disorder, she won't be able to handle the pregnancy and isn't sure of what kind of mother she would be. She went on to say that she doesn't want to pass on the mental illness to her child. What really put me into tears were some of the comments that people made. Some said if they'd known about their mental illness, they wouldn't have had their kids. Some talked of children suffering.

I'm sure it seems I'm overreacting, but you have to see things from my perspective. As you may know, I have two kids and bipolar disorder. I was diagnosed with clinical depression at age 14. Then, after having both of my kids, at 31 I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and fibromyalgia. No things have not necessarily been easy. I had my daughter when I was only 18 and had undiagnosed postpartum depression. I've been on many different meds and gone unmedicated for the most part. I've made mistakes. But through it all I have loved my children. Along with my husband, who has been with me through it all, they are my reason for living. They give me structure, purpose, happiness. They are my world.

I know that mental illness is hereditary. My grandmother on my mom's side was schizophrenic. My mom was born in a mental institution and therefor adopted out. I was told once, because of my mental illness, that if she had known of the family history I probably wouldn't be here. Let me say that I do not suffer. Things can be difficult but my bipolar disorder does not define me. It's just how I am. I've learned to make accommodations but it doesn't control me. I have my ups and downs but I am happy. And I couldn't imagine my life without my children.

As for my children, I do not believe they suffer either. My daughter is 15 and about as moody as any other teenage girl. My 8yr old son, on the other hand has ADHD and possibly Asperger syndrome, but he is not suffering. Both are smart, talented, happy, and they make me proud to be their mother. Things may not always be "normal" for them. Their environment may not always be "perfect". But they are always treated with love, respect, and understanding. Those that live a sheltered life don't grow up to appreciate things. They don't learn how to be strong in times of adversity. They don't grow up to be open-minded. Life isn't always perfect for anyone. The life we live makes us who we are. We can let the bad bring us down or we can choose to learn and benefit from it. If my childhood were perfect, I wouldn't be who I am today. So I don't think I'm making my kids suffer at all. They know I'm not perfect or "normal" but they know that I love them and support them, unconditionally.

I love being a mother so much, despite my illness, that we tried to have another child. After a few years of trying, however, we realized it just wasn't meant to be. For reasons unknown, I couldn't get pregnant again. I try not to let it bother me but I'll admit, when I see certain things on t.v., I do get a little emotional. I guess that's another reason why it upset me to read what I did.

I know not everyone is meant to be a parent, or wants to be for that matter. But for those that think they can't be because of bipolar disorder, you are depriving yourself of the greatest joy you will ever know. A child does not need "normal". Give them support and security. Teach them love and understanding. Love them with all your heart. Let their life be your medication.

Fellow Stay-at-home Moms (or Dads)

I've been a stay-at-home mom for a couple years now. The circumstances of my status weren't exactly, um, pleasant. But I won't get into that. Even though both of my kids are in school, I love being here when they get home and when they're on vacation. Sometimes, however, I feel somehow less accomplished. Despite reassurance from family and friends that I'm doing something good and I'm fortunate to be able to stay home, I feel like I should be doing something more; like I'm being lazy. Furthermore, when money gets tight, I feel like I should be contributing financially. When the kids want something, if something breaks, when holidays come around, it would help if I were working too. That's why I started making jewelry and blogging. I love doing things that challenge me mentally and creatively. Unfortunately, my necklaces don't really sell and I don't get paid to write the silly blogs I have.

So, probably like a lot of other moms or dads in my situation, I look for ways to "work at home". There are a ridiculous amount of websites out there that target us. And even more ridiculous is the amount of money they promise. I have become quite skeptical of any site that says you can make money at home. I've found that if you change the way you look for things, sort of indirectly, you can find opportunities to earn a few extra bucks. Nothing, of course, that would earn you an actual hourly wage. But I figure something is better than nothing. There's a couple of email click/survey/shopping sites that I do okay on. One I'd mentioned before, Inbox Dollars. My favorite is MyPoints. I just got my 4th $50 gift card in the mail the other day. I've tried some other survey sites but I haven't had much luck. I never seem to qualify for the surveys.

Then there's affiliate sites...
Affiliate marketing is a type of performance-based marketing in which a business rewards one or more affiliates for each visitor or customer brought about by the affiliate's own marketing efforts. The industry has four core players: the merchant (also known as 'retailer' or 'brand'), the network (that contains offers for the affiliate to choose from and also takes care of the payments), the publisher (also known as 'the affiliate'), and the customer. -via Wikipedia

I tried Google Affiliate Network awhile back, didn't do much with it, and deleted the blog I was using it on. I hadn't really thought about it since. Then, the other day, I came across another network called ShareASale. So far I like the looks of it. It seems to be less formal than Google Affiliate Network and more user friendly. Which is a good thing if you're not a computer genius. The application was easy and I was accepted in a day. I haven't placed any ads yet, but I'm fairly optimistic. Of course I'm being rational and I know I won't make tons of money. But it couldn't hurt to try. Check out ShareASale.

Have you tried to make money online? What have you tried and has it worked?

Ambitious Much?

And now for my next act... I've created a Facebook page. Pockets Of Wildflowers can now be found on Facebook. The page is mostly to promote my etsy shop, but I also want a space to share sites for materials and inspiration with fellow crafters. If you're interested, stop by and give me a like... www.facebook.com/PocketsOfWildflowers

A New Name

I finally did it... I came up with a name for my etsy shop! I have to admit, it was not my first choice. Or my second and so on for that matter. Gypsy Soul would have been my first choice. I can't believe how many shops there are on etsy just with the word gypsy in their name! And I certainly didn't want something hokey like Kerry's Kreations. Lol. But I like the name I came up with. Even if it is the name of a book I've never read. But it suits me, as my hubby would say. Picture me in a sundress, barefoot in my garden, picking daisies for the kitchen table. Yup! And of course the things I make tend to evoke that playful summer style. So yeah, I like it!

The logo banner took me hours to make. First I had to find the right pictures to use. I think Holly Hobbie and vintage wallpaper fit perfectly. Then I had to figure out my new art software. I have ArtWeaver, which is great, but my Dad had recommended Gimp. I downloaded it a couple months ago and figured this was the perfect chance to try it out. It's a lot like ArtWeaver but has a lot more to it. Which means a lot more to figure out. I don't think I did too bad for my first attempt. You can download it at Gimp.org

And if you haven't checked it out yet, visit my shop at Pockets Of Wildflowers

Today's Mail

Yay! Free samples in the mail today!

·Nivea body wash for men. It smells so good!
·Folgers vanilla biscotti flavored coffee. Yum!

I love freebies! What freebies have you received in the mail lately?

Happiness Is...

Bare feet in the grass.

Give Free eGift Cards

I found this through one of my favorite freebie sites. I thought there would be a catch to it but none seen so far. You send free $10 eGift cards for Restaurant.com to your friends and family. If you don't know what Restaurant.com is, it's a site where you buy gift certificates to select restaurants at a discount. An example is say for $10 you can buy a $25 gift certificate. Some restaurants have restrictions as to how or when the certificate is used but it's usually excluding things like holidays or alcohol. Not too bad considering. So anyway, Feed it Forward by Restaurant.com lets you send free $10 eGift cards that your friends and family can use to buy these gift certificates. You can send up to 15 Facebook requests a day and as many emails as you want. Pretty neat way to send a little something to everyone when money is tight.

He Tricked Me...

Damian: Hey Mom, I see something under there!

Me: Under where?

Damian: Hahahaha! You said underwear!

Happiness Is...

A warm Saturday in December! It's 60° here in DE!

Baked Meatballs and Penne

This is something pretty easy to throw together. I made it from what I call “pantry” items. They are things I pick up when we go to BJ’s so I always have them on hand.

Ingredients

• About 20 meatballs halved then quartered
• 1 box of whole grain penne
• 1 24oz jar of marinara sauce
• 2 boxes of Green Giant antioxidant veggies (broccoli, carrots, and peppers in sauce)
• ½ cup French’s fried onions
• 1 cup shredded mozzarella 

Directions

1. Preheat oven to  350°
2. Heat veggies in microwave for about 3mins.
3. Saute meatballs and fried onions with a little bit of olive oil in a skillet until meatballs start to brown
4. Add veggies and marinara to skillet and turn to simmer
5. Meanwhile, cook pasta according to package (I usually cook 2mins. longer so the pasta isn’t too firm.)
6. Mix together cooked pasta and marinara mixture and pour into a 9×13 baking dish.
7. Top with cheese and bake about 15mins. depending on how brown you like your cheese.