Letter From My Dad

Being Bipolar I have my ups and downs. When I'm down I tend to be concerned as to whether I'm good enough, and is it acceptable to not work, shouldn't I have a career, and things of that nature. My husband and my dad end up burdened by my concerns with my need for reassurance. I feel bad about it but I think sometimes we all need someone to reinforce that we are doing a good job. Whether it's as a mother, a spouse, an employee. Whatever it is that we do, it's good to know that we make a difference; that we matter.

Last week I asked my dad a question. His immediate response was, "Yes, I'm proud of you! You are NOT a waste!" The next day I got this email.

You said you wondered if you’re doing enough with your life. I’ve wondered the same thing, and for a longer time. But look around at all the people in the world. Not every one of us can make a great scientific discovery, write the next great novel, or design the next amazing bridge, or something else that memorable. Most of us have to be content to make our marks on the world in much smaller ways, and have the faith that those smaller ways somehow add up to something equally as important as the singular things done by the famous, if not nearly as tangible. How you raise your children, the nice thing you say to a friend, the courtesy you show to a stranger at the store, those little things add up! Like the butterfly effect those little things you do every day, usually without even thinking about it, can have a major effect somewhere in the future.

You teach your children to keep trying, even when they fail. Years later they encourage a classmate in college to do the same. More years pass, as that person raises his child the same way. That child grows up to become a cancer researcher who, after failing repeatedly to find a cure for some form of cancer, and refusing to give up, finally succeeds. Without your small contribution, the whole chain of events might never have happened!

That person who walked into the store ahead of you was in a bad mood. Your kindness in opening the door for them and smiling at them jogged them out of it. As a result, when they got home they didn’t yell at their husband. The husband didn’t storm out of the house and go down to the bar. He didn’t get drunk and try to drive home, so he didn’t get hit that pedestrian. That pedestrian grew up, married, and had a child. That child grew up to become a famous writer. Your unthinking moment of kindness saved a marriage, saved a life, saved a family, and let the world experience the writer’s genius.

So have faith that you ARE doing enough with your life, just by doing the best you can. Be encouraging, be supportive, be kind, be nice. Those actions DO matter! Don’t envy the famous. They often have but one shot at making a difference. You can make a difference every day!